I’m Not Here to Make Friends

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Honest AbeAsk most people and they will swear honesty is very important to them. What they fail to tell you is that they mean honesty to a degree. Be totally blunt and completely honest and you will soon discover that honesty has a different definition to many people. It’s not honesty they want but someone that will agree with them and pat them on the back.

There’s a difference between being rude and being completely honest. I myself don’t play games and don’t have time to gently tap dance around someone. If they ask a question or state their opinion, I’m going to be blunt in my answer or in regards to my own opinion. This isn’t being rude, it’s getting straight to the point. I don’t curse or call them names (although it’s amazing how many of them will jump straight to throwing f-bombs the moment you disagree with them). I just get right to the point and use simple logic if they insist on dragging it out.

If you post a flash photo orb as if it’s actually a spirit I’m going to flat out tell you that it’s not. I’m not going to gently ease you into the fact that it’s not, I’m simply going to tell you that it’s not. There is a virtual warehouse of information out there in regards to how you managed to capture such an image and everything you did wrong in order to do so. If you don’t take paranormal research seriously enough to know better or take 5 minutes out of your busy life to learn simple facts then I’m not going to coddle you. You’ve already shown that you’re in this field for reasons other than knowledge and understanding. It’s fucking dust people.

WowIf you insist on doing research with a team of people all wearing matching t-shirts I am going to call you out on that. If I had a leaky faucet and called the plumber and 6 of them showed up I’m going to ask them to go back to wherever it is they came from and call someone else. I know immediately that you’re simply either emulating what you see on television or you’re scared of the paranormal. Either way, you’re not cut out to do this and I’ll find someone else who is. You may think you take this seriously but the fact is, you don’t.

If you use the term ghost hunter or ghost hunting I already don’t like you. That’s just a fact and you can do with it whatever you like. However, if you actually took the time to really think about it you’d realize I was right. You’re simply using a disrespectful phrase in regards to the very thing you claim to be interested in. This is basically proof that you’re lazy and don’t think for yourself and I personally don’t think there’s a place for you in this field. Once I hear those words come out of your mouth I’m done with you. It’s that simple. Sorry if having respect for the dead rubs you the wrong way but I’m not going to pretend that I don’t just to make you feel better.

If you throw out the word ParaUnity I know immediately that you’re desperate and insecure. This is like saying everyone with teeth should hold hands and bake cookies together. The bottom line is we’re not all the same, don’t all have the same intent, aren’t in this for the same reason and shouldn’t pretend like we are. If we both like to bake cookies but you insist on putting crickets in yours, we’re not on the same page and I want nothing to do with you. If you can’t see that not all investigators or researchers are alike then you don’t put enough thought into what you’re doing for me to bother with you. And why do you need the approval of others that don’t even know what they’re doing? You should be confident enough in what you do and how you do it to not be concerned with what anyone else says or thinks. If anything you should be going out of your way to distance yourself from these desperate individuals.

If you don’t know how to record an EVP without making it sound like you’re at a cattle auction or applying so many filters to your file that it sounds like it was recorded underwater I simply don’t have time for you. If you can’t grasp the concept that to even attempt to record something as subtle as a possible spirit voice requires absolute and utter silence then you simply have no clue what you’re doing and I’m not going to pretend that you do just to make you feel good about yourself. In what alternate reality does it makes sense to you to capture a spirit voice in an atmosphere of multiple individuals walking and talking? How many people have to tell you it’s too damn noisy to hear anything before you get it?

Give me a break.Far too many people today are hyper-sensitive and extremely reactive to criticism. Just because not everyone takes what you say as gospel or (God forbid) outright disagrees with you, doesn’t mean they are rude. It could simply mean that you’re wrong. I take paranormal research very seriously. So seriously that I study every aspect of it, learn what may lead to tangible evidence but more importantly what leads to false positives. Knowing what causes an orb photo is about as simple as paranormal research gets. It’s step 1 in basic paranormal investigation knowledge. If the very most basic part of the paranormal is beyond your grasp of understanding then I’m not going to lie to you and give you praise. You have absolutely no clue what it is that you’re doing. It’s really that simple.

Paranormal research is not a social network. It’s not about how many virtual friends you can harvest and compiling a list of people who like you. Even the paranormal forums have become so sensitized to open honesty that they have also become absolutely worthless. If you create an environment with so many rules that nobody can be themselves, all you have left is a strictly run group of compliant robots afraid to voice an actual opinion. It’s OK for people to be blunt and honest. As long as they can back it up with factual information, or better yet, actual personal hands on experience, nobody should get butt-hurt over what is basically a healthy debate and learning situation. The sun will still rise in the east tomorrow if you let people be themselves.

The bottom line is I’m in this to learn from the spirits and not make friends with people I have nothing in common with. If the way you go about this directly conflicts with my own beliefs I’m not going to have anything to do with you. There are plenty of ghost hunters that will be more than happy to strike up a friendship with you.

One forum I used to frequent (paranormalsoup.com) is so over-regimented that they may as well provide cut & paste responses that meet their strict guidelines in regards to what a person can and cannot say. It’s so micromanaged that it’s to the point where it looks like the same person is providing all of the content. Relax people. Blunt honesty isn’t going to topple your virtual house of cards. State an opinion that may possibly indicate that someone is wrong (or stupid, yes there are stupid people in this world and most of them do have access to a computer unfortunately) and expect a message from a moderator stating that you’re too abrasive. Really? Fuck you. Is that abrasive enough for you? Maybe if their parents had been a little more abrasive and honest they wouldn’t cry when someone tells them they’re wrong.

Who would you rather have as members of your forum? People that know what the hell they’re talking about or clueless individuals you have to walk on egg shells around in order to avoid hurting their feelings? Keep pushing the actual researchers away and see what you end up with because guess what? You need them and their expertise far more than they need you. They’re going to keep on doing what they do and you’re going to be moderating an empty forum. I highly recommend steering clear of that place if you have any integrity at all. Yes, it’s that bad.

I have found that simply avoiding these places all together is best unless you enjoy being frustrated by the things mentioned above. As with most things, the people that are in charge actually know nothing about the genre itself and are rarely open to actual facts and healthy debate when it comes to the paranormal. They are extremely close-minded and have little to no understanding of what the actual purpose of a forum is. And this doesn’t even take into account places like The Paranormal Society where moderators will take your work and then pass it off as their own.

As I mentioned, I take this all very seriously. It’s hard enough to do this without the added problem of dealing with teams of clueless sheep making the field into a joke. If more researchers were honest maybe things would change. Stop giving people props for obvious bullshit. Stop worrying about how you will be perceived if you’re 100% honest or if you’re going to hurt someone’s feelings. They came to a public forum and asked a question. Give them an honest answer. Life is short. Get to the point.